Archive for June, 2015

Beep

As I pull up to a bus stop on Bear Flat, there’s a knackered old Civic parked in it, right in the way.

After weighing up my options – for about a second – I let loose a short beep from the embarrassingly shrill horn on my bus, and the old clunt behind the wheel responds in the customary Fox Hill fashion: with a crooked Flicked Vs held out of the window.

After I’d shouted ‘Well done!’ out of my window and beeped again, the Vs are followed not only by The Finger, but also The Wanker, each accompanied by a loud cheer and round of applause from me. This seems to really rile him so he drives off, still optimistically waving The Wanker. I’d heard of this Holy Trinity of obscene hand gestures, but never experienced it until now.

Waiting to get off, and thus privy to this slice of heaven, are a rather timid Japanese couple and one of those hard-boiled little old ladies who says to me:

‘What a rude old sod. Eh? Rude old sod’.

I was forced to concur.

Travel

A wonderful conversation between two old ladies on that veritable mine of comedy goade, the 1

To whit:

LOL #1: Ooh, you look well. Been away?
LOL #2: Yes, we’ve just got back from Turkey
LOL #1: Ooh, that’s nice…
LOL #2: Well, yes, but it was quite hot and I don’t really like to travel
LOL #1: Oh… are you going anywhere else?
LOL #2: Saudi Arabia

Every word is true. Incredible.