Archive for September, 2015

Scarf

On the Newbridge Park & Ride I found a scarf that had been left, judging by the pastel colours and overpowering smell of Chanel Toilet Freshener, by Miss Marple

Some time later, said little old lady got back on for the return journey and spotted the scarf that I’d secreted in the cab in order to drop it into Lost Property later

Me: Hello
Little Old Lady: Ooh, that’s my scarf
Me: Pardon?
Little Old Lady: (pointing urgently) My scarf! That’s my scarf!
Me: Oh OK. It’s doesn’t really suit me anyway
LOL: (taken aback) But… it’s mine…
Me: (making sad face) Sigh… here you go
LOL: It wasn’t expensive
Me: Ooh, lovely

National

One thing I’ve discovered is that most people don’t read the destination board on the front of the bus. They see the number and that’s it: they take no notice of where, as they say, it’s to. That can be an issue if the route is linear – goes through the bus station between terminuses – rather than circular – a route that starts and finishes there

Bath’s Royal United Hospital is a very popular destination throughout the day and is served by the 14 on a linear route between Weston and Odd Down. The relevant bus has ‘Weston via R.U.H.’ in big, bright letters on the front. The 14 to Odd Down, unsurprisingly, doesn’t.

Confusing for some passengers. To whit:

Little old man: Do you go up to the National?
Me: (On the Odd Down bus, so I know what’s coming) The National…?
LOM: You know, the hospital?
His stroppy little old wife: (fixing me with a steely glare) Yes, the hospital
Me: Oh, you mean the Royal United?
LOM: Yes, the Royal United National
Me: The hospital?
LOM: (rolling his eyes) Yes
HSLOW: (impatiently) The hospital
Me: No
HSLOW: (tutting) Come on, Frank
Me: Doop-de-doo

Cakes

Belter from the 6, otherwise known as Charon’s Ferry. It’s quite full, and I am easily the youngest on board.

All of a sudden there’s something of a commotion towards the back.

To whit:

Little Old Lady #1: Oooh! OOOH!!
Me: (concerned) What’s happened?
LOL #2: She’s dropped her cakes
Me: Er…what?
All: She’s dropped her cakes!
Me: Well, I need the loo too…
LOL #3: No, she’s dropped her cakes. Look!
LOL #1: (sheepishly, to me) I’ve dropped my cakes
Me: Oh, have you dropped your cakes?
LOL#1: I’ve dropped my cakes
Me: Rueidge

She’d actually brought a tray of at least 30 nice-looking sponge cakes on to the bus and dropped the lot. The incident was the talk of the remainder of the journey.