Archive for December, 2015

Car Park

An elderly couple get on the 14 at the RUH. He’s somewhat reserved and down-trodden, while she’s over-tall and plainly accustomed to getting her way. She’s also wearing a truly hideous coat

Over-tall lady: Is this the one for the car park?
Me: The car park?
OTL: The car park
Me: Not sure what you mean. This goes to Odd Down
OTL: (Rolling her eyes) Yes. Odd Down car park!
Me: (Penny drops) Oh, you mean the Park & Ride?
OTL: That’s what I said, the car park and ride
Me: Right. You need the 41. This is the 14
OTL: But this is the 41
Me: It’s not. This is a 14 going to Odd Down
OTL: I know. The car park and ride
Me: Ok, fine. Why don’t you get the 41 from that stop there?
OTL: (Stroppily) Alright
Her husband: (Conspiratorially, as they get off) It’s OK; she doesn’t listen to me either
Me: Really? Lawks

Scaffolders

A little old lady was bending another’s ear regarding some scaffolders that had been ‘doing some work’ on her house.

To whit:

Little Old Lady #1: There were three of them, but only two were doing any work. The other one just sat in the truck. Waste of money
Little Old Lady #2: Waste of money
LOL#1: Mind you, he couldn’t really have done any work, because he was a very substantial fellow. And he seemed to spend the whole time eating
LOL#2: Yes
LOL#1: Waste of money
LOL#2: Waste of money
Me: Scaffolders are tossers, aren’t they?
LOL#1: Eh?
Me: That was a bit of a waste of money
LOL#1: Waste of money
LOL#2: Waste of money

R.H.U.

On the Odd Down 14 last week. Bit cruel, but couldn’t resist

To whit:

Little Old Man: Do you got to the R.H.U?
Me: O. N.