Archive for June, 2016

Travolting

An American student is trying to locate the e-ticket on her phone. As the lengthy screen-scrolling process ultimately leads to success, the following exchange takes place

To whit:

AS: Ah, that’s the one that I want
Me: (Enthusiastically) Woo, hoo, hoo, honey
AS: I’m sorry?
Me: (Abashed) Nothing…

Fight

A conversation between two little old ladies regarding the upcoming EU referendum

To whit:

Little Old Lady #1: Trouble is, if we stay in there’ll be one big European army and the French can’t fight, can they?
LOL #2: No. Nor the Italians
LOL #1: No
LOL #2: No. Or the Belgiums
LOL #1: No
LOL #2: We should see what pans out with Nigel Farage. He seems nice
LOL #1: Yes
Me: And there it is…

Phone

Two little old ladies are discussing the disruption caused to their blue-rinsed reverie by fellow passengers speaking at too high a volume whilst using a mobile phone. It’s plain that neither know exactly what mobile phones are nor how they work, but are vehement in their mutual dislike of said infernal contraptions

To whit:

Little Old Lady #1: Thing with all these telephones is, you don’t have to speak loudly for the other person to hear you
LOL #2: Yes. That’s the whole point, isn’t it?
LOL #1: Yes. You just put your mouth close to it and speak normally, don’t you?
LOL #2: Yes
LOL #1: I heard someone talking so loudly on one that the other person must have been in space
LOL#2: In space? Well I never…
Me: Wish I was there…