A teenage oaf got on the 13 in town, whereupon the following conversation ensued

To whit:

Teenage oaf: Yo, what time is it, lad?
Me: Lad?
TO: (oblivious) What time is it?
Me: Quarter past five
TO: Eh…?
Me: Eh…?
TO: What time is it in proper?
Me: Proper?
TO: Yeah, proper
Me: Er… 5:15?
TO: No, proper!
Me: (clutching at straws) 17:15?
TO: Right; I’ve got time for a ciggie
Me: A cigarillo? Perchance to smoke? A fortuitous happenstance, young sir
TO: Eh…?